Grief

Today marks a whole year we have "done life" without dad.  It doesn't seem possible!  Here are some thoughts after I have been thru a year of grief.

What to do for a friend who has lost a loved one?

·         Go to the visitation or funeral – seeing an outpouring of love and that people care to come – makes you feel like you are not alone in your grief.  We were so blessed when my dad passed away at the people who came to support us, hug our necks and say they were thinking and praying for us.  I can look back on the day of his funeral with a smile because of the people who simply came to be with us, some people we hadn’t seen in years!

·         Talk about their loved one – I know you hate to bring it up but just because you aren’t talking about them doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking about it.  Also respect if you bring it up but they don’t talk about it elaborately, maybe it just hurts too much that day. 

·         Ask how they are doing – not just casually but really how they are doing?  Someone asked me this once in a line and I said “good” cause of course I thought that is what I was supposed to say and no one really wanted to hear how I was really doing that day.  She said “No I mean how are you really doing”  At that moment I started crying and told her how I was really doing and it wasn’t just “good” that day.

·         Share a memory you have – nothing means more than sharing a sweet or funny story.  They have plenty but like to hear yours!

·         Tell them you miss them too – several times people have said to me “Man I miss your dad” or “I am having a day where I could really use John Ed” and their causal comment mean so much!

All people grieve differently!  But here are a few things that helped me that I didn’t know before losing a close loved one and may help you as you support a friend thru a loss.  I am thankful for my many friends who loved me in so many different ways thru this past year!

My Facebook Post Today - Hard to believe that one year ago today God called you home. It seems like just yesterday and forever at the same time. What I wouldn't give to have one more day with you - to eat at Amy Jos, to have you call and check on me, to have you rock the kids in your chair or paint in the shop with them, to have you cheering on Caleb at his ball games, to eat Chinese or some of your famous oatmeal, to hear you say you were proud of me and love me - so many things I miss but I know one day wouldn't be long enough so I'll just look forward to spending eternity with you! Love and miss you dad!